“Order your speckomatic now. Call this toll-free number in the next twenty-four hours and get a free cheese slicer!”
I ruminate on a middle-aged woman I know who keeps the Lord directly in her line of vision. While she talks a good talk, though, she doesn’t walk a deliriously great walk. In fact, she recently spoke a couple of untruths about me in front of a friend.
Leaning my chin on the eraser of a pencil, I daydream I’m a mad scientist and invent a wildly popular shooter, the speckomatic. This long-barreled device removes character flaws from sinners’ eyes. I load up the laser-shooter (which doubles as a mosquito-zapper) and aim. Gzzzt! Problem solved.
As I doodle schematics for the patent application for this sure-to-earn-a-million invention, Jesus leans over and covers them with His hand.
“Jesus—pardon me, I need that,” I say, arching an eyebrow.
“There’s a gurney in the hallway,” He says, pointing. “I’ve scrubbed and the anesthesiologist is prepped.”
“Gurney? Anesthesiologist? What are you talking about?” I ask.
“Your logectomy, of course,” He replies, pulling me up out of my seat. “We’ve got to take care of that eye.”
“When you judge that woman for being double-minded, and go after the splinter in her eye, you’re overlooking the telephone pole in your own. It needs to go. Come on.”
Do you like to be judged? Neither do I. But when we dish it out, Jesus says, with the measure we use, it will be measured to us (Matt. 7:1-5). Have I ever been double-minded? Yep. But I sure don’t want to stay that way.
When we’ve got long, ugly planks that need to be carved out of our eyeballs, only a scalpel in the steady hand of Christ can save us.
How about you—want to join me? After our surgeries, let’s play laser tag with a couple of speckomatics. Maybe you can even get that cheese slicer you’ve been dreaming about. (Cheese not included.)
In what area is God operating on you?
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